New Years Want
by chewy1
Summary: A meeting between Lily and James goes a little far. Oneshot


**New Years Want**

Author: Chewy1

A/N: So, I started writing this on New Years morning as I sat in bed, and meant to finish it that day. Obviously, that didn't happen what with all the packing to go back to school. Anyway, a little thought that came to me. Not too happy with the ending, but I did my best. Hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Enjoy! Happy New Year!

* * *

"Owww". Lily Evans rolled over slowly, grasping her head in pain. _Never Again_. She knew she should have stayed home this year. New Years was never her friend. Sure she would sit at home watching the ball drop and eating chocolate frogs and drinking her favorite liquor, alone. But anything would be better than the massive head ache and sudden bout of nausea she was currently feeling. 

At that, she sat up quickly and threw the heavy duvet from her naked legs. She stood, running in the direction of her bathroom.

_Oww._ "Who put this wall here?" She looked up from her position on the floor at the tall, light blue wall that did not inhabit her apartment. She looked around taking in all four of the light blue walls and the canopy bed that sat in the center of the room. _Shit._

Lily stood shakily, grasping the wall for balance. Her long, pale legs shook beneath her and her head throbbed with every movement. Not even the second day and the year was going badly. She looked down at herself to confirm her thoughts and let a growl escape her throat. _All right, who was the wise guy who thought taking advantage of my drunken state would be fun?_

She walked slowly towards the bed, concentrating on keeping one foot in front of the other. She gripped the heavy duvet and pulled it around her body, revealing her sleeping captor under a white sheet. She secured the duvet before crawling onto the bed.

Black hair poked out from under the sheet along with one muscular arm that lay bent across the pillow. The sheet outlined a skinny, male torso and one large foot stuck out the bottom. Lily carefully reached forward, gripping the top of the sheet. She slowly pulled it down to reveal the face of her captor. _Seriously?_

She whacked the sleeping man hard in the chest causing him to groan and pull the sheet back over his sleeping face. She knelt in indignation at his inability to wake. She hit him harder.

Another loud groan was emitted from behind the sheet before it was pulled down again to reveal two striking, hazel eyes. "Lily?"

It was confirmed. The man lying beneath the sheets of the unfamiliar bed was her secret, long time infatuation.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" James Potter rubbed his eyes before glancing at Lily's attire. She watched as his eyes grew wide and he sat up, pushing the white sheet farther down his body. The abs she always knew were there stared back at her; she licked her lips.

"I'm not quite sure. I was hoping you'd be able to clear that up for me, as this is _your_ bedroom." All nausea had been forgotten the moment she ran into the wall. "I'm assuming that in my drunken state last night, you thought it fit to bring me here and ravish me. Correct?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No." Her face fell slightly. "I believe I was just as drunk as you were, considering I haven't a clue what happened last night after about 11 o'clock."

"Oh," was all she could let out. She pulled the duvet tighter against her body more self-consciously and sat back on her haunches. She wished he had remembered exactly what happened, or at least had a better reason for it. She felt dirty all of a sudden.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she had hoped he still had the schoolboy crush on her that she had refused to acknowledge when actually in school. She had wished that he had taken her to bed because he still felt (if anything) _something_ for her. She felt lonelier now than she had the night before, her loneliness being the cause of her proclaimed need for alcohol.

She sighed.

"Lily?" Her eyes shot to meet his. "Did we…?"

She nodded.

"Oh…." She looked down, ashamed to meet his disappointed eyes. She closed her eyes tightly, stopping the tears that threatened. _Why do I want to cry?_

"Lily?" She nodded.

"Do you remember anything?" She shook her head. "Oh."

Silence. They both sat thinking.

"So… umm… how was your New Years?" James quietly asked. Lily snorted. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

Lily looked up, searching his lowered face. "Don't be. It was probably a lot of fun, I just wish I had been sober." Suddenly she felt like laughing. Not able to keep the laughter within, it filled the room with its sudden onslaught. She couldn't stop. She lay flat on her back, allowing it to over take her body until the familiar sting of tears hit her. Her peels of laughter turned into sobs.

They racked her body. She turned to her side, pulling her legs tight against her chest and her hands over her face. She still couldn't stop. She felt embarrassed. Nauseous. Dirty. Sad. Infatuated. Regretful. It wasn't until she felt his hand on her shoulder that she opened her eyes again.

"Lily?" The tears streamed from her open eyes, covering the once dry sheet beneath her. She peered into his inquisitive gaze, trying to show him everything she was feeling. He lifted his hand to her cheek, wiping away some of the wetness that resided. "What's wrong?"

She took a shaky breath. "I don't know. I just wish I could remember."

"Me too." He turned away from her again, and she was left staring at his back. "I spent seven years wishing I could kiss you. Four years wishing I could be with you. Two out of those four I didn't even know what you were doing. You were gone from my life and I still couldn't stop thinking of you." Lily bit her bottom lip, watching his shoulders move up and down with every breath. She sat up again as he spoke, wiping her tears away and pulling the duvet closer yet again.

"I just wanted you. Physically… mentally… in every way possible. And the first time I actually have even the slightest bit of you… I can't remember it." He covered his face with his hands. "I'm such an idiot."

She moved closer to him, resting her head and hand on his back. She felt his back stiffen at her touch, felt the lifting of his head and dropping of his arms. _All these years._

"I'm sorry I've been such a cow."

"You're not a cow."

"I am." She lifted her head and looked towards his face, peering over his shoulder. She laid her forehead on his shoulder blade, inhaling his musky scent. Tilting her head upwards slightly, she kissed his back, lingering. Appreciating the elicited gasp, she moved up his body kissing her way slowly to his neck.

"Lily?"

"Mmm?" As she moved against him all worry ceased to exist within her. Within moments he had once again become her constant and she felt safe. _Perhaps this New Year wasn't such a bad idea after all._

"What are you doing?" James let another gasp escape as her arms wrapped around his neck and she let the duvet fall. Pressing herself against his back, she hugged him to her, burying her head in the crook of his neck.

"James?" she mumbled into his neck. His hair stood on end at the feel of her breath on his skin.

"Huh?" He barely managed to articulate.

"Make love to me? I want to remember every touch…"

Who was he to refuse?


End file.
